


I Don't Believe in Love

by wantAwinchester



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Jensen Ackles, Carpenter Jared, Coming Out, Evanston - Freeform, Fluff, Home Renovation, M/M, Nervous Jensen, Romance, Seduction, Shy Jensen, Supportive Sisters, Top Jared Padalecki, blue collar Jared, brainiac Jensen, conservative parents, glasses jensen, northwestern university, period homes, professor Ackles, seductive Jared, university!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:10:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wantAwinchester/pseuds/wantAwinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brilliant Washington DC think tank chemist moves into the home his grandmother left him only to discover that it is falling down around his ears.  Determined to live in the place for the school year while he teaches a graduate level seminar in synthetic fuel he hires a carpenter/general contractor recommended by his friends.  The catch, the contractor will only do work on homes who's owners are interested in preserving their heritage.  Can he teach the professor to believe in love while saving his unique home?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the people, I just borrowed their names and likenesses. This is all fantasy and not based on anything other than my own imagination but I have met people who profess that love doesn't exist and refuse to believe in anything they can't see with their own eyes.  
> Thank you to my wonderful Beta for getting this proofed so quickly. As always, the errors are mine and mine alone.  
> Hope you like this little diversion. Comments always welcome.

“Goddamn son of a bitch!” Jensen Ackles shook his head as he looked at the soggy plasterboard that had detached from the ceiling of his living room. “Fucking house, if you were a horse I’d shoot you to put you out of your misery.”

Jensen had moved into the house his grandmother had left him a few weeks earlier in order to get the place in shape before the fall semester started at Northwestern. He had been invited by the university to teach a graduate level seminar on his current research project. He was surprised that the course had been blessed by the think tank he worked for in D.C., because the research was still considered cutting edge and promised to lessen or completely eradicate the United States’ dependence on fossil fuels. He was however, grateful for the chance to get away from the tank and from D.C. for the next year. Living in the capitol city was stressful enough and his job provided a shit ton of additional stress making him unable to relax enough to enjoy his life. He had been looking forward to the more relaxed atmosphere of the Midwest and as well as the free time that teaching just one class would provide. It was clear now that his free time would be quickly consumed by his home.

He had known that his grandmother had let a few things go in the last few years of her life, but hadn’t realized the extent of the neglect until he moved in. The traditionally designed arts and crafts house which sat on a fairly large piece of property south of the university, a couple of blocks from Lake Michigan, needed more than just a new roof. It seemed like there was at least one feature in every room that needed to be rehabbed or replaced in order to make the house sellable. A realtor that he’d spoken to told him that there would be plenty of interest in the property itself with people lining up to buy it in order to tear down the old house and build one of the small mansions that had been popping up in all of the older suburbs around Chicago, if he didn’t want to put the time and expense into renovating the old place. Jensen hadn’t yet made up his mind on how much he wanted to do to the house, but he hadn’t come to the Midwest with the idea of keeping it. For the time being though, he’d have to have the roof repaired before the entire thing came down and made his decision for him.

After cleaning up the mess in the living room he showered and headed to the quaint and hugely popular downtown Evanston area for coffee and breakfast. He’d stumbled on The Spot his first week in town when he was looking for a place for lunch and it soon became his favorite place to grab a coffee, beer or bite to eat. Its owners, Denise and her brother Jeff bought the restaurant, which had been in operation since before Evanston repealed its heavy handed liquor law, rehabbed the prohibition era bar and set the place up as a coffee shop/diner that also had a beer and wine license. In the couple of years they’d been open The Spot had become THE place for students at the university as well as the local residents to gather when they wanted a warm, casual environment for studying, dining or just hanging out.

Denise saw Jensen as he walked in and took a seat at the bar. It was hard not to notice the guy. He was tall, maybe 6’1” or 6’2” with broad shoulders which tapered to a narrow waist, short dark blonde hair, freckles and green eyes. The fact that he was freakishly smart and shy almost to the point of painful, was just gilding the lily. Today he looked like someone had kicked his dog and then held him up for his lunch money. “Penny for your thoughts,” Denise said as she poured his usual order of drip coffee, black.

“I’m afraid my thoughts are running closer to five figures today,” Jensen quipped as he sipped the scalding coffee and burned his tongue. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath.

“What’s wrong? Anything Jeff or I can help with?” Denise slid an éclair in front of the young man, “On the house. It’s our special Tuesday sucks deal,” she was satisfied with the snort of laughter the pastry provoked.

Jensen looked at the éclair and knew he should pass it up, but Tuesday did suck and a little sugar, fat and carbohydrates would kick up the level of endorphins in his brain and possibly help the day seem a little brighter. He took a bite, closed his eyes and almost moaned in pleasure as the custard filling and chocolate glaze hit his tongue. “Your brother is going to make me fat if he keeps turning out pastries this good.”

“Yeah, um no, I can’t really see that happening,” Denise smiled as the young man carefully wiped the extra chocolate from his lips. “So what’s going on?” she quickly asked before she could spend any more time thinking about those same lips.

After swallowing another bite of pastry and washing it down with some coffee, Jensen answered. “That damn house. I knew grandma had been having trouble keeping up with things but she was lucky it didn’t fall down around her ears. There are about a half dozen water spots, some old and some new, scattered throughout the house. I haven’t looked at the roof, but I’m sure nothing’s been repaired or replaced up there for years. If I’m going to live through the winter there, I need to at least get the house water tight and I’m fairly certain that means a repaired if not, new roof.”

“You still thinking you might want to rehab the whole thing?” Denise knew the perfect person for the job, but didn’t want to recommend him if Jensen was going to sell the place as a tear down. Jared would never agree to work on a place with that kind of history just to see it torn down.

“Not sure. I planned to get a couple of quotes and see what kind of money I’d have to come up with and then talk to Chuck, my realtor, and see if it would be worth updating the place. If I can’t break at least even on the investment it would probably be better to let it become someone else’s problem,” Jensen finished the pastry and licked the chocolate off of his fingers.

Denise cursed every god she could think of and a few her friend, a sci fi author had made up, that this gorgeous guy was as gay as her brother and therefore unavailable to her. Science geek that he was, he probably didn’t even realize what kind of reaction his innocent actions provoked. Jensen’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. “So, do you know anyone who does this kind of work? I know I can go online, but I’d prefer to talk to someone who comes recommended.”

“Yeah, actually, I do,” Denise refilled his coffee and cleared the plate and fork before continuing. “There’s the guy Jeff and I used when we rehabbed this place. He’s a carpenter by trade and does beautiful work. He redid the bar for us and all the built-ins are his work; he also functions as a general contractor for more extensive jobs.” She watched as Jensen took in the woodwork both custom and rehabbed.

“So, what’s his name and number? He is clearly a skilled craftsman.”

“Here’s the thing. He’ll take your job if you plan to rehab the place, but he won’t touch it if you’re going to sell it as a tear down. He loves these old places and believes the newer McMansions are abominations,” she had heard Padalecki’s opinions on that point more than once while he was working on their restaurant. He had no problem whatsoever telling people what he thought of the destruction of the individually crafted homes that had made up most of the North Shore until the last ten years or so. There was no way in hell she was sending him a client who would ultimately allow one of these older beauties to be destroyed.

Jensen sighed. “So then I’ll call him and get an estimate on the entire job and I’ll call someone else to quote what it would take to make the place habitable until next summer.” Jensen put his most eloquent puppy dog face on as he looked at Denise.

“Fine,” she responded, never able to deny anyone with those kind of puppy eyes a thing, “just don’t mention anything about a possible tear down when you’re talking to him. He’ll walk away from the job regardless of the money involved and I’d hear about it forever.” 

“Thank you,” Jensen accepted the business card Denise had pulled from a drawer where she kept a number of cards for local businesses. “I’ll give him a call right away. I have to get someone working on the roof before I can even think of anything else and I’d like to get it done before school starts.” With that he left The Spot, unlocked his bike and headed back home to get to work on the jungle that some people liked to call a backyard.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later Jared Padalecki pulled up to an arts and crafts style bungalow that took his breath away. It was clear that the house still had most, if not all, of its original glass and that no one had ruined the home’s classic lines with any ugly additions. The landscaping was overgrown and hid some of the features, but that was an easy fix. He hoped that the guy who’d called him was serious about rehabbing the place and bringing it back to its former glory. He wanted to get his hands on this house in the worst way. A note on the door sent him around to the back yard to find the owner.

He let himself into the yard through a dilapidated gate, noticing that even the fence and yard needed extensive work. He heard singing and followed the sound around to the back. He stopped at the patio/pergola and sized up the guy singing. He had a decent voice and was on key, which was better than Jared could do and he was concentrating on the task of cleaning up one of the yard’s rose beds by tackling an overgrown climber.

“Here, let me give you a hand,” Jared said as he approached the other man.

Jensen, who was well into his own head jumped back, and stumbled over the edging of the flower bed, as a hand touched his upper arm, “Fuck, you scared the shit out of me!” He accepted a steadying hand and pulled out his earbuds as he turned to his visitor. 

“Sorry, man. I didn’t see the earbuds and I thought you heard me walk up. I’m Jared Padalecki.”

“Jensen Ackles,” they shook hands and Jensen motioned toward the patio. “Let’s have a seat. Can I get you something to drink, water, soda, beer?” He reached into a cooler and pulled out a couple of waters, a soda and a beer.

“Water’s fine, thanks,” Jared studied the other man as he put the other drinks back and settled himself into a lawn chair. He wished he’d take the sunglasses off so he could see his eyes as they talked. Jared found he could tell a lot about a person by watching their expressions during conversation.

“Thanks for making time to come by so quickly, like I mentioned on the phone, the roof is my most critical issue right now, but this place needs quite a bit of work,” Jensen removed his glasses and hung them from his t-shirt and removed his hat to wipe his brow before continuing. “My grandma left me the place along with some money to fix it up, but I’m not certain how much I can afford to do right off the bat.”

“This is a great place. You don’t see too many of these bungalows that haven’t had multiple additions put on that ruin the classic lines imagined by the architect. Once you get her rehabbed and brought up to code you’ll have one of the nicer places on the North Shore. Your location is ideal.” Jared stood and stepped into the yard to look up at the house and stared to assess just what the exterior might need in addition to a new roof. He motioned his client to join him and pointed out a few of the features unique to the Arts and Crafts style as well as spots where some of the features had been removed or damaged.

Once they’d walked around the entire house Jared got a ladder from his truck and headed up to the roof to see whether they could just replace the missing and loose shingles or if any of the underlying structure needed replacement as well. 

Jensen watched the contractor as he headed up the ladder. The guy was freaking hot; tall, well-built and seemingly intelligent with a smile that was almost blinding in its perfection. He hadn’t seen a ring, but knew that guys who worked with their hands didn’t always wear them when working. Even if he was single, there was no actual international sign for ‘hey, I’m gay are you?’ and contrary to what most of the straight population believed gays didn’t automatically recognize each other. Well, maybe some gay guys were better at reading a situation than others, but Jensen had never taken Gaydar 101 and still fumbled around trying to figure out who was or wasn’t playing for Team Homo. Maybe Denise or Jeff knew. He made a mental note to figure out a way to casually ask the next time he was at The Spot. As he watched Jared come back down the ladder he began to recite the periodic table of elements to get his mind off of his cock and back onto the business at hand.

“Like you thought, the roof is in bad shape. I think the majority of the underlayment is still usable, but there are a few spots that need to be replaced before you can re-shingle. Did you want to use asphalt shingles like are there now or did you want to do something more traditional, like cedar shake or metal?” Jared had accepted another bottle of water as the two men settled back on the patio to discuss the work that needed to be done to weather-proof the house.

“How much trouble would it be to quote a couple of options? I know I’ve got to get the roof done quickly, but it would help to see a couple of options along with the estimated life span of each so I can take the more traditional roofing styles into consideration,” Jensen set his water aside and grabbed a beer from the cooler offering one to Jared as well.

Jared opened his beer and took a swallow before speaking. “There’s nothing wrong with asphalt and there were homes built around this time that used them so it wouldn’t be anachronistic to go that route, but your place has a really great classic feel and the other materials would really enhance that. I’ll quote out all three options and email the numbers to you along with some photos so you can get an idea of what the end result would look like with each option. Separately, I’ll write up a quote on weather-proofing your windows. There are things that can be done to enhance the R-value of the windows without having to change out the original decorative glass. I’ll also provide a couple of options for a new front door. The one you have on the house needs replacement and there are some really nice reproductions available that will give your house back some of its original curb appeal as well as provide better insulation than what you currently have. Those three changes would weather proof the place and allow you to get started on the interior.” 

Jared noticed the other man had gone quiet and just a little pale at the talk of the work that needed to be done. “The only thing that needs to be done immediately is the roof. The rest can be done piecemeal as you can afford it. There are very few people that have the means to redo one of these classic homes all at one go. Once I get you the numbers, we can meet again and talk about what you feel you can afford do at this time. There are also a few ways to help cut costs once we’re talking about some of the cosmetic stuff. If you’re willing to paint, you can save money there and refinishing floors isn’t all that complicated so you can provide some ‘sweat equity’ to help keep your cost down.”

“I knew this place would need work, but I hadn’t realized how little had gotten done in the last few years before my grandma passed away. That’s totally on me; I was always too busy to get out here and relied on my mom and sister to keep me updated. They apparently didn’t want to worry me,” Jensen smiled as he finished his beer and fished in the cooler for a couple more.

“So you’re not from around here?” Jared asked as he accepted the offered beer.

“No, my mom was born and raised here but moved to Texas after meeting and marrying my dad. She was an only child but has a couple of cousins in the area. My parents offered to move grandma down to Dallas to live with them, but she didn’t want to leave the home where she’d spent the majority of her life.”

“You don’t sound like you’re from Texas; I can’t hear any drawl at all. I’ve lived here my whole life and there are Padaleckis all over the city and suburbs. I sometimes feel like I can’t go anywhere in the city without running into some kind of twice removed relative.” Jared felt bad about the plight of the other man’s grandmother, but understood how hard it was to leave the Chicago area when it’s all someone knew. People who were born and raised in the city and surrounding area knew they had the best of both worlds and even with the unpredictable weather couldn’t imagine living anywhere else.

Jensen laughed, “I can drawl when I want to and it does get more pronounced once I’ve had a few drinks, but I did my undergrad work at Cal Tech and then my graduate work at Virginia Tech so any accent I had growing up has been diluted by years away from my home state.”

“What did you study? What do you do?” Jared wanted to keep the conversation going since Jensen had a seriously sexy voice that he didn’t think he’d ever get tired of listening to.

“I have my PhD in chemistry and I work at a think tank in D.C. I’m here for the school year to do a graduate seminar on the research we’ve been doing on synthetic fuel. It’s more or less a year-long recruiting trip. The project could use new blood and the tank’s found these seminars a good way of getting the cream of the crop interested in our research,” Jensen watched Jared’s face carefully for signs of boredom. He knew his work was dry as hell and that most people tuned him out at the word chemistry. He was pleased to see the other man leaning forward as he considered his next question.

“So, if this is just temporary for you, will you be selling the house once it’s finished?” Jared worried at his bottom lip hoping to hell this guy wasn’t going to let this house be destroyed once he moved back to the East coast.

“I honestly don’t know. I didn’t think much beyond the opportunity to live here for the year and get the house cleaned up to sell. I’d visited as a kid, but didn’t really have an appreciation for the location, the size of the lot, the uniqueness of the house and the now neglected garden. I have a lot to think about before I can really come to any decision one way or the other.” Jensen prayed that he’d answered the questions well enough to keep this guy, Jared, interested in the project. Even if he was straight, Jensen could see becoming friends with the interesting young man. “So, are you still interested in the project?”

Jared had been running the other man’s words through his mind as he was speaking. It was understandable that coming in and finding the house in this shape would make it hard to make a firm commitment one way or the other, but he didn’t want to help someone fix the house only to see it destroyed. “Let me run the numbers for you and get you those photos. It’s a lot to take in at once and we can definitely take it one project at a time. I’ll be honest with you in return, I hate seeing these old beauties torn down to be replaced by cookie cutter mini-mansions with no heart or soul, but I will commit to getting this place weather proofed for you and we can talk about the rest at a later date. Will that work for you? I assume you’re getting a few quotes so you can take some time to get back to me, but keep in mind that the sooner we get your roof water tight the less that’ll have to be fixed on the interior.”

Jensen walked Jared around the house and back to his truck, “Give me a week or so to think about this and yes, get another quote or two and I’ll be in touch one way or the other. I really appreciate your time and the straight forward way you seem to manage your business. A chemist is all about concrete numbers and expected reactions so I like knowing up front what’s expected. We’ll talk soon.” They shook hands and Jensen watched as Jared pulled away from his house knowing he’d made his decision the minute the guy had put his hand on his arm.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple weeks later Jensen found himself at loose ends on a Friday night. The roofing crew that Jared had sent out was doing a great job. They worked on the flashing and the gutters that day and promised to come back the next day to finish up. Jensen knew he’d owe Jared the second half of the cost once the crew finished and hoped he’d be out to check the job and collect the money himself. He’d been by a few times during the course of the work to see how it was progressing and to get Jensen’s thoughts on how he felt the work was going. 

He enjoyed the other man’s visits and always offered him a beer or two as they talked about the progress the roofers were making. About halfway through the roofing job Jensen told Jared to go ahead and do what he needed to make the windows weather proof and to switch out the doors on the front as well as the back of the house. He also asked him to take care of some of the settling cracks in the otherwise solid foundation. The contracted work would just about wipe out the account that held the money his grandma had left to him for repairs on the house and he knew the bulk of the work still needed to be done on the interior. 

He’d been at the university earlier in the day, setting up his office and planning his office hours as well creating an outline of what he wanted to cover in the nine weeks of the first quarter. So he just had to shower and shave before heading out to the bank to get a cashier’s check for the balance he owed Jared and then stop off at The Spot for a burger and a couple of beers.

Denise greeted him as he took his usual spot at the bar, “Hey Jensen! How’s the work going on the house?” She placed an open beer and a glass she knew he wouldn’t use in front of him.

“They’re finishing the roof tomorrow and the doors and windows will be done by mid-week. Just in time for school to start and the weather to turn nasty,” Jensen smirked a bit at the glass Denise always provided as he pushed it aside.

“You know it doesn’t get bad that quickly. How was that faculty coffee you went to on Tuesday? Meet anyone interesting?” Denise poured a couple of drinks for the others at the counter before returning to hear Jensen’s answer.

“The usual political bullshit, who’s made the short list for tenure, who doesn’t deserve tenure and yet has it and of course, most importantly, who’s sleeping with who. University faculty gossip almost as much, if not more than the students,” Jensen smiled as he thought about the pit of vipers he’d be working with and was glad he was contracted for just the one year. “There is more politics in academia than there is at the tank in D.C. and that’s really saying something.”

“So in other words, no one interesting…you want your usual? If not, Jeff’s got some really nice steaks. He’s pretty proud of the wine he’s got matched with them too. Oh, and chocolate mousse for dessert tonight,” Denise smiled at the look of near ecstasy that flashed in Jensen’s eyes. The man was a first class choco-holic.

“I thought I told you to not tell me those things! Yeah, I’ll have a steak, medium rare and whatever Jeff’s got matched with it. After I pay Padalecki tomorrow I won’t be able to afford to eat steak for a while.”

“Well, speak of the devil,” Denise murmured before heading to the kitchen to give her brother the order.

Jensen turned to see Jared enter the café with a small blonde girl on his arm and his heart sank. Even though he’d known the chances of the kid being gay and interested in an old scientist were low, he still felt a sense of loss at seeing him with a date. 

“Hey, Jensen!” Jared approached with his hand extended and the two shook hands. “I’ll be by tomorrow to check the finished job. Are you planning to be around?”

“Yeah, I’ll be home, probably working in the garden. I’ve gotten the thing about half tamed and managed to get all the man-eating climbing roses cut down to size,” Jensen smiled at his friend and his date. “I’m sorry I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Jensen Ackles,” he extended his hand to the girl who barely came up to Jared’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry. Jensen, this is Megan,” Jared didn’t fail to notice the quick flash of darkness in the other man’s eyes as he introduced his sister. He hadn’t planned to run into Jensen, but was pleased at the way things had worked out. He’d been talking to Megan non-stop about Jensen since he got the job and wanted her opinion on the guy. His sister was a good judge of character and while he was about 90% sure Jensen was gay, he wanted his sister’s opinion before he made an ass of himself and asked the guy out. “Are you alone? You’re more than welcome to join us.”

“No, thanks, I, um….no thanks,” Jensen blushed as he tripped over his words. “You guys have a nice dinner and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Jared Tristan!” Megan turned to Jensen, “please join us, I’m his sister. He’s told me you work at some think tank in D.C. and I’d love to hear about it.” Jensen choked on his beer and Jared turned nearly purple and was studying the tile on the floor as if he was going to be tested on it the next day. “Boys,” Megan rolled her eyes and asked Denise if they could take the table in the corner.

The next day, Jared pulled his truck into the driveway and studied the front of the house before unloading a ladder. He was pleased with the way the roof looked. Jensen had decided to go with the metal material and it highlighted the metal inset in the windows and the new door. The house was already looking much better. Once the cracks were repaired and he could get a painting crew out the exterior would just need to have the landscaping improved and she’d be back to her glory days, at least from the curb. He propped his ladder against the house before heading around the back to look for Jensen.

As usual, the older man was singing to music only he could hear through his earbuds and wrapped up in clearing a perennial bed of weeds while splitting some of the lilies and hostas in order to give them some root space. Jared approached slowly, giving Jensen time to realize someone else was in the yard before his shadow fell on the kneeling man. The younger man pushed his dirty thoughts aside but was having a lot of trouble not imagining Jensen on his knees with his lips wrapped around his cock. Recalling his sister’s outraged voice from the night before helped bring his thoughts back into control as he lightly touched Jensen’s shoulder.

Jensen had known Jared was there as soon as his shadow hit the ground next to him, but kept working to see how the younger man would handle things. He was a little hurt by the kind of underhanded introduction to his sister the night before, but they’d all had a great time and Megan had hinted that Jared was interested in him but wasn’t sure it was reciprocated. She had rolled her eyes at them again as they both blushed and looked uncomfortable.

“Hey Jared,” Jensen rose from his knees and pulled his earbuds out while turning his iPod off. “What do you think of the roof?”

“It’s a little more important for me to know what you think, but it looks great. The metal was absolutely the best choice. Come around the front and see how she looks from the street, then I’ll head up to look at the roofers’ work a little more closely.” Jared followed his client through the gate to the street, admiring his ass the whole way. He recalled his sister’s voice a second time to get his mind off what he’d like to do to that ass and back on the job so that he could actually form sentences as they talked.

Back on the patio, with business concluded they both sat back nursing beers and saying very little. The silence wasn’t completely uncomfortable, but Jensen knew he’d need to speak soon or he was going to lose his chance. He wanted to invite Jared to come for dinner that night and if he didn’t ask soon the other man would leave. “God, I suck at this,” he thought as every bit of liquid, beer and spit, dried up in his mouth. “So, I had fun last night. Your sister is….”

“Nosey, bossy and a total brat?” Jared finished the sentence.

Jensen laughed, “Um…I was thinking opinionated, forthright and outgoing, but yours works too.”

“Despite what she made it seem like, I wasn’t really trying to play you. I….,” Jared sighed.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure about you either. So I guess we both skipped Gaydar 101 in undergrad,” Jensen held his beer bottle out and they toasted the sentiment with a touch of their bottles. “I did have a good time last night and if you don’t have plans tonight would love to cook for you. It’ll give us a chance to talk a little more privately without an opinionated little sister dominating the conversation. If you’ve got plans…..”

“No, I don’t and yes, that would be great. I do have a couple more jobs to check on and one to quote before I can call it a day. Would seven be too late to come by?” Jared was now looking directly at the other man and was thanking all his gods that he hadn’t fucked up too badly the previous night.

“Sure, seven’s fine. It’ll be fajitas, beer and tequila so pretty casual,” Jensen smiled at the dimples on his friend’s face and thought that just maybe he could do this and not act like a complete science nerd/dork who didn’t believe in things that he couldn’t quantify like friendship, attraction and love.

“I’d better get going and I’ll see you later.” Jared held his breath as he leaned down and brushed a quick kiss on the other man’s cheek before heading around the house to his truck.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared got through his jobs for the day leaving enough time to stop at The Spot and ask Jeff what was the best tequila he could bring with him for his date that night. He went in through the kitchen entrance to try to avoid Denise and the thousand questions she’d have after last night.

“Finally! Denise has been driving me nuts about you two,” the older man smiled up at his friend as he answered his question. “Get Don Julio añejo. It’s smooth enough that you guys can sip or shoot it and not have it feel like battery acid in your gut. I’d call you two the lamest gay guys on the planet, but I’ve actually seen worse,” Jeff laughed.

“Gee, thanks Jeff, I guess….” Jared blushed.

“Jeffrey! Leave him alone. Not every gay guy likes to wear a rainbow shirt every time he leaves the house,” Denise reprimanded her younger brother. “Sometimes subtle is effective. Have a good time Jared and don’t let my brother’s comments make you feel uncomfortable, he’s an ass, a jealous ass.”

Jeffrey turned back to the stove as the other two laughed at his expense. His sister wasn’t wrong, he was jealous. He’d do either guy in a heartbeat but knew he was a little too old and maybe just a little too gay for either of the J’s. “Have fun Jared. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“He means nothing’s off limits,” Denise laughed at the stricken look on Jared’s face. “Don’t worry, we won’t ask for a blow by blow account….” Jared got even more red-faced and Denise added, “oops, no pun intended.”

Jared left his two friends laughing themselves silly and headed home to shower and change. He was going to have to find new friends if he screwed this up because those two would never let him forget it if Jensen turned tail and went back to D.C.

In the bungalow south of the downtown area, Jensen worked through his own dilemmas. Flowers on the table? Too gay, in fact, he decided that even setting the table might be too gay, but then second guessed himself since he wanted Jared to know he cared enough to make an effort. He finally decided to set the kitchen table with placemats, no flowers and bottles of various hot sauces for a center piece. 

His next small crisis was what to wear and he used every swear word he’d ever learned in any language as he tried to convince himself that this meant nothing more than any other evening spent with any number of nameless, faceless guys in the past. He didn’t believe in love and didn’t even really believe in attraction. His relationships in the past had been carefully planned out with companions who had similar interests, similar jobs, similar family backgrounds and similar likes and dislikes in and out of the bedroom. In fact, asking someone out ended up having more in common with a contract negotiation than a request for a date, but it was how he was able to satisfy the scientist in him that he’d accounted for every contingency in the experiment he was conducting to prove his hypothesis that he and his date would get along and have a good time.

Jensen really didn’t understand why he felt sick as he tried on every shirt he owned a second time after settling on his favorite pair of jeans. He was a master of the short term relationship and even did pretty well with one night stands. The older man shook his head as if to clear it from any stray emotion that was trying to take root as he finally shrugged into a light blue, faded chambray shirt that reminded him a little of a security blanket. He saw Jared’s truck pull up from the window of his bedroom and quickly gathered up his other shirts and shoved them back into the closet, took one more look in the mirror and bounded down the stairs trying to still the butterflies battering his insides.

“So you’ve never been in love?” Jared couldn’t imagine a world without love and was surprised the man he saw as a warm and sensitive human being professed to not believe in love.

“I don’t believe in love,” Jensen shrugged and poured them each another finger of the really excellent tequila Jared had brought. “I mean, I love my family, but that’s more a habit than any kind of extreme emotional attachment. I’d miss them if they were gone, like I miss my grandma, but no, I’ve never been in love with anyone other than family.”

“How do you do that? Or, how do you not do that?” The young carpenter really liked Jensen had felt a strong attraction to him from the first moment they met. He’d professed to love a couple of his partners in the past, but couldn’t remember being as affected right of the bat as he was by Jensen.

They were sitting on the patio in a swing that was positioned to catch the breeze coming off the lake and the night was pleasantly cool with little trace of the humidity from earlier in the day. “It, love, just doesn’t make sense. Most emotions don’t, but some like sadness are more or less straight forward and it’s easy to figure out the situations that will cause someone to feel sad so is therefore quantifiable. Love on the other hand is capricious and unpredictable. There is no identifiable set of circumstances to predict when, where or with whom, love will strike. Even once someone’s experienced what they consider love, they often struggle and fail to be able to replicate the feeling again.”

“Not everything is explainable by math or science. There are things that have to be taken on faith,” Jared felt a twinge of pity as he reached out to touch the other man’s hand. “Do you not trust your instincts enough to take a risk on something that can’t be proven in a lab?”

Jensen knew that his view of emotions and love in particular, was pretty far off from what most people were comfortable believing and had struggled to explain this to others in the past. “It’s not that I don’t trust my instincts, it’s just that I don’t believe in love. Lust, sure; sex, hell yes; companionship, absolutely; comfort when necessary, no problem, love however just doesn’t make any sense.”

They sat in silence sipping at the tequila and looking up at the stars for a while before Jared reached over and gently turned Jensen’s head toward him so he could look into his eyes as he spoke. “I’m not sure if that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, or the smartest. You’ve obviously given this an awfully lot of thought and it wouldn’t be right of me to dismiss your theory out of hand, but I will tell you how I see it.

“I think that there is love all around us, it exists in everything that makes us smile or laugh. It exists in sadness and despair. It even exists in anger. The key to finding it is not to look with your eyes or with a set of equations and hypotheses, but to look with your heart and feel with your gut. You may not believe in it, but it’s there and if I give you nothing else, I hope that I can somehow show you how to reach for and find the love that is waiting for you.” Jared pressed his lips softly against the almost pretty mouth that had been haunting his dreams at night and his fantasies during the day. He kissed the other man softly, but fully, pressing small kisses along his lip line as he held his face with one hand and rested the other lightly on his shoulder. He felt the smaller man shiver and caught the smallest sound of want as he pulled gently at the full bottom lip before breaking the kiss and drawing back while stroking Jensen’s cheek with his thumb. 

“And, now that I’ve made a complete ass out of myself, I guess I’d better get going. I would like to see you again if you can put up with my radical views on love and emotion,” Jared smiled wide enough to pop his dimples into high relief to let his date know he wasn’t make fun of his views, but wasn’t going to just accept them as his own either. “Do you think we can do this again?”

Jensen fought the urge to press into the hand still caressing his face and tried to dismiss the butterflies that had returned with a vengeance. “Yeah, I’d like that. I had fun tonight, even if you are a little deluded.”

“Good, I had fun too,” Jared kissed his way from the full lips, along the strong jaw to just under his date’s ear where he stopped and whispered, “and I can’t wait to prove you wrong.”

TBC  



	2. Part 2

Jensen started a load of laundry and looked around his kitchen as he came up the basement steps, amazed at how much the place had changed since he’d moved in. The maple cabinets - original to the house! - glowed as if lit from inside and as he ran his hand over their smooth as glass surface, he could clearly remember every moment he and Jared had spent refinishing them. Once the carpenter had realized that the ugly painted cabinets in the kitchen were actually original to the house and maple on top of it, he’d insisted that he and Jensen work together to strip, repair and refinish them….

“I told you, I don’t have the money to hire you to do anything else right now,” Jensen argued in September after Jared had convinced him to let him strip one of the cabinet doors so that he could see what was under the paint.

“And I told you that I’d help you refinish them yourself on weekends,” Jared was ecstatic about the cabinets and had promised himself he’d do the work for free just to see it done, but he really wanted to spend lots of time with Jensen and knew his friend wouldn’t let him work for free, so he thought this was the perfect project for them to start together. Jensen was just about finished with the garden and needed an indoor project anyway.

He took one of Jensen’s hands and ran it down the surface of the wood that had been sanded to a satin finish. “See how tight the grain is, that’s old growth and that’s what makes the wood so smooth once it’s been sanded. Close your eyes and imagine the kitchen with all the gross paint stripped off and the wood stained and poly’ed. It will glow; the warmth will be unbelievable,” Jared felt himself stir as he held Jensen’s hand but since he had promised himself that he wasn’t going to ‘just have sex’ with this man, and knew full well that he’d have to coax him into believing he was loved, he pushed away any thoughts of running his hands over Jensen’s skin and concentrated on the cabinet door.

The older man continued to touch the wood even after Jared had let go. It was so smooth and he could almost see it stained and glowing but he refused to take advantage of his friendship (and what he hoped would be more than friendship) with the younger man. “It is really smooth. It’s almost hard to tell that it’s actually wood. But I can’t ask you to give up your free time.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. You have no idea how rare it is to find cabinets of this quality any more. As a carpenter, it’ll be an almost religious experience for me to work with wood this fine. Look, even if you decide to sell at the end of the school year, the kitchen is where you’ll get your biggest bang for your buck and for your sweat. It’s the most expensive room to rehab and you’ll have one of the most expensive items covered. Sure, it’ll take some time but it’s not like your kitchen is enormous. We could be done with the cabinets by Thanksgiving; Christmas by the latest,” Jared could see his friend wavering and decided to press his advantage.

“I’d love to spend time showing you what I do and sharing my love of these older homes with you. It would be knowledge you don’t currently have and you’ve said that knowledge is never wasted,” he caught Jensen’s hand and pulled him a little closer. “I want to do this Jensen. If it’ll make you feel better, you can supply the food and drinks while we work and make me dinner or take me out when we quit for the day. I will totally trade the lessons for food.” 

Jensen knew he’d been beat once Jared had taken his hand. The boy had these amazing hazel eyes flecked with green and gold and used them on him at every opportunity. They’d been spending their time together on the weekends as it was so it wasn’t like working on the cabinets was going to ruin any other plans for either one of them. Plus, even if someone did want to tear the place down, they could remove the cabinets and sell or reuse them. It would provide a good selling point.

“You are so expressive,” Jared laughed a little as he watched the other man work through everything he’d said. Jensen hadn’t exaggerated his methodical approach to problem solving; it was almost like watching a computer run through a series of equations as he thought through things. “I can tell you’re wavering. What can I offer to sweeten the deal?”

“Kiss me.”

Jared pulled his friend even closer and raised one hand to cradle Jensen’s jaw as he ran his thumb lightly over his cheek bone while scratching lightly at the scruff he wore on the weekends. He’d been working in the garden and was still slightly damp with sweat; as he lowered his mouth to press lightly against Jensen’s full lips he could smell the cinnamon from his gum, his shampoo, deodorant and the smell that was uniquely him. It was a heady combination and Jared felt his body begin to respond.

Pleased with the small grunt of frustration he’d pulled out of the other man, Jared continued to kiss along the seam of his lips, barely touching them with his tongue. He wasn’t teasing, he just really wanted to take each action slowly, to thoroughly explore each step toward intimacy to its fullest before moving on and he’d only begun to discover all the ways he could kiss the enigmatic man he found himself so attracted to. Drawing back slightly and looking at Jensen he sighed, the guy was so fucking hot. His eyes were closed and his blonde lashes brushed against his skin which just served to highlight the sprinkle of freckles across his cheeks. The guy was going to kill Jared but just like he knew that the work to restore the cabinets would be worth the effort, he knew that teaching his friend about love would be the ultimate achievement….

Jensen smiled as he remembered that conversation and how his body had responded to the soft kisses that had been hotter than anything he’d experienced before. He adjusted his cock slightly, pressing against it to get it to be still, marveling that just touching the cabinets they’d restored together could be so erotic, but then working side by side with Jared had been anything but mundane and boring. The boy had a way of turning just about anything into a lesson on beauty, attraction and perfection. It was humbling to hear him talk about the world around them.

He poured himself a couple of fingers of whiskey and moved into the room he was using as an office. Jared had told him it had been a parlor, or possibly a library when the house had been built. He’d painted it himself over a couple of nights. He’d chosen a medium gray color for the walls that reminded him of velvet and for the moldings, baseboards and fireplace surround he used a slightly off white shade which allowed them to reflect the grays perfectly in their shadows. There was an elaborate medallion in the center of the ceiling that Jared had been able to determine was rigged for electric so Jensen was on the lookout for a reproduction Tiffany glass fixture that he could afford. He eased himself into his desk chair and thought about the first time Jared had seen the room after he’d painted it….

“Hey, Jensen,” Jared called out as he let himself into the house. It was a couple of weeks into October and they’d stopped knocking on each other’s doors by then. “Where are you and what do you have to show me?”

“I’m in the office. You know, the library-parlor thing.” 

Like most houses built in the early part of the 20th century the house was a warren of rooms rather than one open floor, which made some people feel claustrophobic. Jared however, liked the mystery of walking through a house room by room and being able to concentrate on one discovery at a time. There was a certain amount of romance in allowing a house to open slowly to exploration.

Jared stopped dead as he entered the room. Jensen had said he’d been painting, but had kept which room and what color to himself. The windows still needed some type of treatment, but other than that, the room was like the inside of a jewel box. The gray walls exuded a sense of quiet wealth and rich texture. The off white he’d used for the architectural features was gorgeous. Bright white would have been too harsh and would have offered too great of a contrast which would have been jarring rather than comforting. There were a couple of watercolors and a few photos framed and hung from the walls, not too much. It reminded Jared very much of the man who had done the work, elegant and yet simple. “It’s really beautiful. You did a great job.”  
“Have a seat,” Jensen gestured to a chair that was upholstered in a deep plum shade. “Drink?”

“Sure, whatever you’re having is fine,” the carpenter looked around the room before sitting and approved of the desk and bookshelves. “Did you have this furniture or is it new?”

Jensen seated himself at the desk after giving Jared his drink, “I had most of it and the chair you’re sitting in was in one of the upstairs bedrooms. Does it look OK in here?”

“Yeah, it all looks great. The color is really nice and kind of a surprising choice,” the younger man had pegged his friend as more of a basic white walls kind of guy. Not that he wasn’t well dressed, he always looked good, it just seemed that with his no nonsense approach to most things in his life that he wouldn’t want to waste a lot of time on color. White went with everything, after all.

Blushing, the older man responded, “I almost hate to admit that I went in to get white but got stopped by a display that showed a darker color with the contrasting moldings and I thought it might work really well in this room. I’m not at all certain the rest of the place won’t be white.” They laughed together at the admission.

“I brought you something,” Jared stood and poured another drink before putting a maple leaf on the desk in front of Jensen. “I saw this when I was running this morning and it made me think of you.”

Jensen picked up the leaf and looked at it carefully, it was almost perfect. The shade was brilliant orange, the notches on the edges were sharp and symmetrical and the stem was still flexible. There was one small hole near the center vein, almost too small to see, but not invisible. After spending a couple of minutes thinking about the puzzle, Jensen placed the leaf back on the surface of the desk and raised his eyes to meet Jared’s - his question unspoken, but clear nonetheless.

“It’s nearly perfect. So beautiful that it could take your breath away, but it doesn’t because of this small hole,” Jared picked the leaf up and twirled it between his fingers. “You too, are nearly perfect. Your face has perfect symmetry and your jawline is as sharply cut as these notches. The depth of color in your eyes, hair and skin is as pure as the orange of the leaf. When you smile, you take my breath away and yet the freckles sprinkled across your cheeks serve as a reminder that you aren’t a work of art, but a work of nature and as such are perfect even in imperfection.”

Jensen sat in stunned silence. While many people had told him growing up and certainly once he’d reached adulthood, that he was good looking, handsome, even beautiful, Jensen had never felt comfortable with their assessment. The compliments made him feel awkward and he knew he couldn’t, didn’t, want to live on some kind of pedestal, set apart based solely on his looks. Part of his preference for short term relationships and one night stands had a lot to do with a fear of not being able to live up to his billing as perfect over time. Watching the leaf spin slowly in Jared’s hand he realized what a unique and special gift the young man had just given him. He felt the butterflies start up again, they’d been plaguing him on and off since they’d met, and he was still brushing them off as nothing more than his natural shyness….

The dryer’s signal broke him out of his thoughts and he headed back downstairs to fold his clothes and decide what to take with him to Dallas. As he sorted through the freshly laundered clothing as well as what was in his closet, he came across one of his favorite sweaters and pulled it out planning to add it to his bag. As he folded it, he couldn’t help remembering the last time he’d worn it…..

His office hours were almost over and he was hoping no one would show up at the last minute with a complicated question. He was meeting Jared at The Spot a little later and he wanted to go home and change into something more casual first. He groaned internally as he saw a shadow approach his door and set the problems he’d been reviewing aside.

“Come in,” he called out at the knock on the door, his voice a little testy.

“Sorry, is this a bad time?” Jared slipped in the door and locked it, “I can come back later,” his wide smile brought his dimples into high relief. “By the way, I love the glasses.”

Jensen shook his head and tried to keep himself from throwing himself at his friend. His “no sex until we can make love” rule was frustrating as hell and Jensen hadn’t jerked off as much since he was in high school. “I thought you were working?”

“I was, my boss, this really great guy, let me go early.” Still smiling Jared sprawled in one of the chairs in front of the desk. “I thought I’d see if I could tear you away from all your hypotheses, catalytic reactions, chemicals and reagents for a walk along the lake path. It’s a really beautiful day.” He watched Jensen through his bangs as he debated internally whether or not to leave a half hour early. He knew it would be hard for his boyfriend – yeah, he’d started using that word when he thought of him – to break out of his routine. “I’ll reward you later….”

“You’re fighting dirty and I’m holding you to the reward,” Jensen started to pack up his books and papers, “and you get to carry my laptop bag.” He was immediately rewarded by a couple of long arms wrapping around him and pulling him in close.

Jared bit lightly at the skin exposed above the neck of the sweater Jensen was wearing, “No problem, and I promise I won’t disappoint you later.” He placed a line of open mouthed kisses along the sharp jawline that he could draw with his eyes closed and settled his mouth over the perfectly pouty lips that had the ability to drive him to utter distraction. The man he was holding let out a debauched moan as he slipped his tongue into his mouth to lick every surface he could reach.

Worried about a student walking in, Jensen started to pull out of the embrace but his boyfriend – yeah, boyfriend! – tangled one of his hands in his short hair and held his head in place as he continued to lick and suck at his mouth. 

“I locked it,” Jared broke away just enough to speak the words against Jensen’s mouth. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you today.” He continued to kiss his way to his other ear and sucked lightly at the skin just below and behind the pink shell. “I was sanding some cabinets and I kept picturing you working with me in your garage, your skin and hair frosted with dust from the sander,” Jared pulled the neckline of the sweater over and kissed a little further down Jensen’s neck. Alternating little bites with soft kisses and kitten licks to soothe the skin he was irritating, he continued, “I had to be careful to not sand through the doors I was working on because in my mind I peeled your clothes off, and then mine, before we showered. You were as hard as you are now and making the sexiest little sounds as you let me wash you clean. I had to take a break and take care of a few things before I could continue, you drive me to distraction.”

Jensen was practically whimpering by the time Jared stopped kissing him and pulled his sweater back up in place, the butterflies were back and his knees were weak. He looked up into his boy’s eyes and saw the lust that he’d expected and something else, something softer. Turning his head he placed a kiss on the palm of the hand that had moved to caress his jaw. He was so hard he wasn’t sure he could walk, but they couldn’t stay in his office. The periodic table of elements once again became the most interesting thing he knew and he began to recite the elements to himself. “I thought we were gonna walk. Did you change your mind? More importantly, do I still get a reward if you did?”

TBC  
Part 3 will post Saturday  
This is the shortest section....


	3. Part 3

“Good night, I miss you.”

“Miss you too, see you soon though,” Jensen disconnected the call and rested against his headboard. He’d been home for a couple of days and the best part of each of them had been his nighttime calls with Jared. In fact, it had gotten harder to say good night with each call and tonight they’d talked for almost two and a half hours. It was just going on 1:00 am and Jensen knew he was too keyed up, too conflicted to sleep.

He got up and rooted around in a dresser drawer until he found the pack of cigarettes and lighter he’d bought on his last trip home. He walked a fine line with his ultra conservative parents whenever he was home since he hadn’t yet ‘come out’ to them. So even though he’d quit smoking full time after he got his PhD he found the ritual of smoking comforting when the atmosphere at home got too thick. He quietly slipped out the back door and took a seat on the deck before lighting up.

“I thought you quit?”

“Shit, Kenzie, you scared the crap out of me!”

“I thought you were going to swallow the cigarette! Sorry Jen, I thought you saw me,” Mackenzie Ackles lit her own cigarette and the siblings sat together smoking in comfortable silence until Kenzie stubbed hers out and turned to face her brother. “So what’s got you so worked up that you needed a nic fix this late? Mom and dad haven’t been too mom and dad….yet.”

Jensen chuckled as he stubbed out his own cigarette, “Nothing mom and dad did and yet, everything.”

“Now I’m worried, that doesn’t sound anything like the brainiac scientist who calls himself my brother. What’s going on? Spill it, you’ve not been yourself since you got home,” Kenzie lit another cigarette and offered it to her brother who took it before answering.

Sighing as he exhaled, Jensen paused to order his thoughts before speaking again. “I met someone in Chicago. He’s the most sensitive and intelligent person I’ve ever known,” he smiled at his sister’s raised eyebrows. “His name’s Jared.”

“Is that the same guy you hired to work on grandma’s house?” Kenzie reached under the bench where she was sitting and brought out a bottle of whiskey, sipped straight from the bottle and handed it to her brother.

“Nice to know that not everything’s changed,” he and his sister had used the bench storage on the deck to hide their contraband for most of their lives. Drinking and smoking were considered sins in the Ackles’ household and therefore had to be enjoyed discreetly. 

“Nothing ever changes here,” Kenzie took the bottle back and took another swallow of the smooth liquor. “Well, I mean I’m getting married next summer, but mom and dad? Still stuck in 1922.”

Jensen laughed. They decided as teenagers that their parents would have been the most comfortable during Prohibition and the inside joke had stuck. “You’re right, but still….let me see if I can explain it. Every other time I’ve come home, no matter where I’d been or how long I’d been away, home as weird as it is, was always like putting on a ratty, threadbare old sweater that was comforting in its sameness.” Jensen took another pull on the bottle before continuing, “This time the sweater is itchy, too tight, smelly and colorless. Everything’s changed.”

“You know Jen, it’s not always the sweater that changes sometimes it’s the sweater wearer who changes. Tell me some more about Jared. Are you guys serious about each other?” Kenzie had known her brother’s sexual orientation even before he did and she was the one he’d talked it out with when he finally realized why he felt so out of place in his own skin.

“That’s the thing,” Jensen lit another cigarette, but put it out immediately. “I don’t really….you know I don’t believe in love….”

“Bullshit, you tell yourself that but I don’t believe you really believe it.”

“I don’t, Kenz, it doesn’t make sense….no let me finish,” he stopped her before she spoke over his words. “It shouldn’t make sense, there is nothing remotely rational or explainable about love and yet, when I think of him I get butterflies and when I don’t get to see or speak to him for a day I get almost itchy and I do get cranky.”

This time Kenzie laughed, “No! You cranky! I never….” 

“Funny.”

“Have you…..” Kenzie arched her brow in Jensen’s direction and he recognized one of his own facial expressions.

“Well, that’s the other thing. He…..Jared isn’t going to….we’re not….he wants to make love, not fuck. He says what he feels for me is more than lust and that it will take way more than sex to satisfy him. Scares the shit out of me,” Jensen took another swallow of whiskey and a deep breath before speaking again. “He’s been….” Jensen's voice trailed off as he thought of his boyfriend.

“Been what? Don’t leave me hanging here!”

“Teaching me. He’s so full of life Kenz, I’ve never met anyone like him. There’s nothing hidden, nothing he won’t say, no question he won’t answer and the way he sees things, is….” Jensen stopped to search for the right word. “Extraordinary. He doesn’t see a leaf, he sees a poem. The sky’s not just blue, its forget-me-not and the clouds are gossamer curtains. He doesn’t see a repressed, intellectual, boring as hell, gay, think tank nerd, he sees something, someone worth loving. He makes me feel like I’m the only one he sees when we’re in a crowd and when we’re alone he makes me feel like I’m….”

“Loved. He makes you feel loved. I’m so happy for you Jen! You deserve someone like Jared in your life. You are special and you are worthy of his love. Tell me if I’m wrong, but is it fear of how mom and dad will react when you tell them who you’ve fallen in love with that’s been driving your grand experiment in “love doesn’t exist”? Cuz, I could understand that," Kenzie took another swallow of the amber liquid. "They will not be cool with it and they may be cruel, but it’s your life and you’ve got to decide if you’re living it for them or for yourself.” Kenzie moved closer and put her arm around her older brother.

Minutes passed as Jensen wrestled with the words on the table, moving them around like they were pieces of a puzzle that just needed to be seen from another perspective to see if they fit. His sister was like Jared in many ways and had always been able to see past the spots that hung him up. “You’re….thanks, Kenz. As usual, you know me better than I know myself. I need to go home.”

Kenzie smiled as she heard her brother refer to Chicago and Jared as home and knew he’d made the right choice. “You going to tell them before you go?”

“Yeah, I will and sorry Kenz, I won’t be home for Christmas. Will you drive me to the airport tomorrow?”

“Only if you swear you’ll bring Jared to my wedding next summer. I don’t care what mom and dad say, I want you both there!”

“If we’re together….”

“Jensen Ross! You take that back! Of course you’ll be together,” Kenzie threw a half-hearted punch as they let themselves back into the house.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen’s flight landed at 4:30 pm and he caught a cab home arriving there about an hour later. He’d been texting with Jared and knew he was at an aunt’s place for dinner and planned to be home around 9:00. There was nothing in his fridge so he took himself to The Spot to grab something to eat, drink a few beers and let Denise soothe his anxious nerves.

“Hey! You’re home early,” Denise came around the bar and gave her friend a quick hug. “Things get tense at home?” She suspected Jensen was still in the closet as far as his parents were concerned when he’d spoken about their ultra-conservative lifestyle.

“Yes and no. I….I realized I didn’t really want to be there after all and yeah, I told my mom and dad why. It didn’t go over too well. My poor sister has been left to sweep up the pieces of my parents’ composure,” Jensen shrugged as he sipped at the beer and glass that had appeared in front of him. “I needed to come home. What’s Jeff got cooking that won’t be a bother to prepare?”

Denise thought she had a pretty good idea of what had brought her friend back from his holiday early but knew he’d be keeping it between he and Jared for the time being and didn’t push the issue, “We had roast turkey earlier, how about a turkey sandwich and some sides?”

“Perfect!” Jensen swallowed more of his beer and tried to get the goddamn butterflies to calm the fuck down so he could eat. He knew his boyfriend would be glad to see him so the butterflies were fluttering about were based solely on the fact that he was going to tell him that he loved him.

Despite his hunger he picked at the plate of food Denise had placed in front of him. Those three little words were whirling around in his head and between them and the butterflies he almost worked himself into a full blown panic attack. It wasn’t that he’d been proven wrong that was bothering him, but the commitment inherent in the words….what if…..

“Stop,” Denise’s voice interrupted his train of thought. “It works better if you take one step at a time, sort of like eating, one little bite at a time and soon, you’re finished. It’ll be OK Jensen and it is OK to be scared. Now let me wrap this for you.”

“No, don’t bother wrapping it, Padalecki’s coming back from a family dinner, I’m certain he’ll be loaded down with leftover containers if previous family meals are any indication. There’ll be plenty of food in the house.” Jensen pulled out his wallet and left more than enough to cover his meal and a couple of extras for anyone who was hungry that night and without the means to feed themselves. “Thanks Denise. You remind me of my sister in all the good ways, I’ll see you guys soon.”

Jeffrey’s eyes widened as Denise brought the full plate back to the kitchen. “That bad, huh? I guess I owe you a hundred bucks, I was sure he wouldn’t cave until Christmas.” 

Denise laughed as she counted the twenties Jeff handed over, “You’re always a little too cautious Jeffrey, sometimes you’ve gotta play the long odds.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared pulled the truck into his driveway and did a double take as he looked at the steps leading to the front porch of the Victorian that had been his first rehab project after graduating high school. He wasn’t positive, but it looked like there was something or someone on the steps. He knew there hadn’t been anything there when he’d left earlier in the day. He sighed as he walked around to the front of his home, certain he’d find one of his younger cousins looking for a place to crash because they were angry with their parents. He hoped that he could handle whatever crisis had arisen quickly so he wouldn’t be late for his nightly call with Jensen.

“So, which one are you and who are you angry with?” Jared called out as he came around the house. He stopped dead in his tracks when Jensen stood up.

“You have more than one boyfriend? I guess I missed the update,” Jensen smiled to let Jared know he was kidding and his open arms were soon filled with his surprised boyfriend. “Surprise.”

“Jensen! What? How?” Jared couldn’t quite believe his senses. The man in his arms was very definitely the one he’d fallen in love with, but he had trouble figuring out just exactly what was happening. “When did you get here? Have you been waiting long?” The questions came pouring out of Jared’s mouth even as he tightened his arms around Jensen as if holding to tighter would keep him from disappearing again.

“Ease up a little, Jared, I’m not going anywhere,” Jensen laughed as he pulled off the ever present beanie and ran his hands through the dark, silky hair while pulling the younger man close enough to kiss. “I missed you,” he whispered against the lips he’d been dreaming of for the last few days. He then took his time kissing his way into his boyfriend’s mouth. Biting at and sucking his lips before gently licking the seam between them asking for entrance to his mouth.

Jared gasped and let out a strangled moan as Jensen’s tongue invaded his mouth, touching all the surfaces he could reach before repositioning his head to kiss into the warm mouth under his just a little deeper. Jared felt his knees go weak as the kiss connected to every one of his joints, melting them with the heat, intensity and demand of Jensen’s kiss. “God, babe,” Jared was gasping for air as Jensen backed him against the house and pressed his very hard body against his in a way that was so lewd that all Jared could do was mewl as he allowed the older man to support him.

“Missed you,” Jensen breathed the words against his mouth again before kissing his way down the long neck that he knew was especially sensitive. In between the open mouthed kisses, he nipped lightly and dragged his teeth against the stubbly skin while still grinding his erection against the one he could feel growing under his.

“Let’s…..god, babe,” Jared moaned again when Jensen’s mouth found the spot where his neck and shoulder connected and began to suck at it. Every nerve in his body felt as though it was on fire and he didn’t think he had the strength to resist the very, very insistent man in his arms, but was determined to stick to the rules he’d laid down earlier in the year. “Let’s take this inside and you can tell me what brought you home,” Jared fastened his mouth back over his boyfriend’s to take control of the kiss and to gently guide Jensen to the door. He dropped his keys as he felt Jensen’s hands pull him backward so he could rub his erection against his ass.  
“I’ve got ‘em,” Jensen laughed as he retrieved the keys from the porch and unlocked the door. As soon as his boy was inside he plastered him against the door and took possession of his mouth again. This kiss was much more demanding and what it lacked in subtlety it made up for in pure passion and Jensen was pleased to feel his boyfriend begin to relax into his arms again. “Got you too, Jay.”

Jared smiled as he heard Jensen use his nickname. The older man hated to shorten names even though Jared had protested that all the elements he worked with had long names and shortened symbols his boyfriend had refused until just now to call him Jay. “What’s gotten into you, babe? Not that I mind the welcome home at all…..” Jared pulled back enough to look into the deep green eyes that locked on his, “You wanna tell me what’s going on with you? You OK?”

“I…uh….” The older man licked his lips, took a step back and pulled his eyes off his boyfriend’s face as he struggled to make his mouth form the words he’d come here to say. He ran his hand through his spikey hair before slipping out of his coat and turning to ease Jared’s from his shoulders, letting both fall to the floor soundlessly. “Can we….um…I think I need a drink.”

Jared tried to choke back the laugh that was bubbling up at the back of his throat as he watched Jensen struggle to speak, “Of course, I should have offered. Let’s go to the den.”

Pleased at the small reprieve and the thought of the liquid courage that he’d soon have in hand, Jensen, his eyes glued to the perfect ass in front of him, followed Jared to the den. They were settled on the very comfortable sofa with glasses of good sipping whiskey before either of them felt the need to speak again.

The room was comfortable. The walls where the color of café au lait and there was a thick woolen rug on the floor that helped buffer the sound from the huge television that took up the wall opposite the couch. Jared had made the coffee table from reclaimed barn wood and the rustic piece contrasted nicely with the plush rug and deep, softly cushioned sectional. It was a room in which they’d spent lots of time over the last months and where Jensen felt almost as comfortable as he did in his own home.

“So, that was, um, quite the welcome home and yeah, I liked it but….” Jared sipped at the amber liquid in the glass as he let the ‘but’ hang in the air between them to see if his boyfriend would pick up the narrative.

Jensen swallowed, set his glass on the coffee table and then picked up again almost immediately. He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands and felt like his power of speech had decided to desert him altogether.

“What is it, babe? I hate to see you so conflicted,” Jared took the glass from his friend’s hand and set both glasses on the table as he moved closer and took Jensen’s face in both of his hands so the other man couldn’t avoid his gaze.

“I….remember what you told me soon after we met? That you’d teach me….” Jensen drew a deep breath, closed his eyes and leaned into the other man’s space. “You know, teach me about ….”

“Love. I promised to show you the love surrounding you. Yeah, I remember,” Jared felt a small twinge of pity for his friend and a larger twinge of hope.

“I was sure, so sure, you were wrong,” Jensen swallowed again. “So sure that I had it all figured out and damn if I wasn’t wrong,” hearing the quick intake of breath from his boyfriend Jensen leaned in and brushed his lips against his before continuing. “I was talking to Kenzie, you know, my sister, last night and she asked me to describe you and I realized as I was speaking that it was there. Love was just there, coloring my words, cramping my stomach and yeah, tugging at my heart. You amazing man,” Jensen took possession of Jared’s mouth again and kissed him until they were both breathless and some of the butterflies seemed to settle down.

Jared’s head was spinning, he wasn’t entirely certain he could change his love’s mind, but wanted this for him so badly that he’d set out on a pretty carefully planned campaign to show him what he’d missed while working on equations and datasets. He looked in Jensen’s eyes again and could see equal parts of fear and amazement, “I’ve got you, Jen and I love you so much. You mean so much to me and you are just so….” Jared kissed his boyfriend until they were both panting, their cocks hardening again, as they rubbed together through the embrace while his insides liquefied at the heat. He very nearly missed the breathy and whispered response….

“Love you too, Jay.”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The master bedroom was on the third floor and the two men stopped at every landing to discard extra clothing and to kiss each other’s newly exposed skin. By the time they reached the top of the house they were each down to only jeans and boxer briefs and their touches and kisses had become more and more demanding.

Jared felt Jensen shiver as he worked his hands under his jeans to squeeze his ass as he pulled him even closer. The small sounds the smaller man was making were so sexy that Jared worried he’d come before they even made it to his room. He’d weighed his options before urging Jensen up the stairs having decided that since he’d stuck to his ‘not sex, lovemaking’ rule that the only proper place to make love for the first time was in his bed. He needed the beautiful and debauched looking man he was kissing to know he was loved and valued that the act was so much more than fucking for mutual pleasure.

“God Jen, you…,” Jared backed them both to the edge of his bed before climbing in and pulling Jensen with him. “Want this, you, so much,” he rolled Jensen to his back and pinned his hands at shoulder height as he kissed his way from the swollen, red lips down his neck and onto his freckled chest. “Are you freckled everywhere?”

Jensen’s deep, throaty laugh sent a rush of desire through Jared’s body and he grasped himself to hold back the orgasm that was threatening to overwhelm him. “I guess you’re gonna find out, aren’t you?” Jensen tried to roll Jared to his back but the younger man had him pinned and trapped against his body.

“Let me love you, Jen,” Jared nipped at the various constellations of freckles that sprinkled across the pink tinged skin, desire having brought the freckles into high relief. He let Jensen’s wrists go as he suckled each of his nipples making the man under him squirm and rub against him, looking for more friction than he was offering. “Uh-uh, babe, making love takes time,” Jared licked at the erect nipples and groaned as Jensen grabbed his ass and pressed himself against his aching and leaking cock.

“Not sure how long I can hold off, Jay,” Jensen groaned out the sentence as he felt yet another small river of slick make its way down his trapped cock. “Need you Jay….please.” Jensen tried again to reverse their positions only to have his boyfriend rock him back underneath him and remove his jeans and toss them aside. “You too, Jay.” Jensen unbuttoned his boyfriend’s jeans and slowly lowered the zipper.

“You’re killing me, Jen.” Jared had his jeans off almost as quickly as he’d had Jensen’s off and stopped to look at the man lying on the bed before him. “Love you so much, gonna make you feel so good.” Jared opened the drawer on the bedside table and grabbed the lube he kept there along with a couple of condoms.  
Jensen, seeing the condoms, shook his head, “Uh-uh, baby boy, if we’re making love I want to feel all of you, but will cave if you’re worried.” He pulled his boyfriend’s head back down and kissed him as deeply as he could while pulling at the boxer briefs that were still in his way. Every place he touched and every place he was touched sent bolts of pleasure through his body to his cock. His balls were heavy and it he knew it would take almost nothing to bring on his orgasm and yet, he was more worried about Jared’s pleasure than his own. If he’d been able to think it through he’d realize that this was a first for him and that the anticipation of his partner’s orgasm was even better than the anticipation of his own.

“No, babe, I’m good,” Jared continued to kiss, suck and bite at the freckles that covered his lover head to toe as he worked his boxer briefs off. “Shoulda just taken these off with your jeans,” he murmured into Jensen’s belly button while kissing it almost as deeply as his kissed his mouth. Once he got the briefs off and cast aside he sat back to look over his beautiful boyfriend again, smiling as he saw that he was indeed freckled all over. “God you are a work of art, Jen. Love you so much.”

“Love you too, but need you……please,” Jensen pulled ineffectually at Jared’s briefs and whined at the loss of contact as his boyfriend got rid of his own underwear.

“I promise, I got you,” Jared licked his way back up to claim the mouth that he couldn’t get enough of as he opened the lube and slicked up his fingers before beginning to tease at his boyfriend’s rosebud opening. “Just relax,” he laughed at the look of pure frustration on Jensen’s face and pressed into his body with one finger. 

Jensen arched off the bed as the first finger entered him and pushed past both bands of muscle and up to the knuckle in a smooth stroke. “Yes, Jay, that….” he kissed Jared deeply as he began to move his finger in and out stretching and softening his boyfriend’s muscles.

It wasn’t long before Jared had three fingers buried in Jensen’s ass and the sight of his rim stretched around his fingers had him gripping himself yet again to stave off his orgasm. The sound Jensen made as he pulled his fingers free was so debauched and so needy that he was squeezing himself yet again even as he mixed lube with his natural slick and coated his rock hard cock.

Watching his boyfriend prepare himself was easily one of the most erotic sights Jensen had ever seen and he felt his body push him towards his release at just the thought of being impaled on his cock. He barely heard Jared’s whispered encouragement even as he felt him push himself in past the first muscle before stopping to allow his body to relax and accept the slick and hard cock pushing its way into his body. The first bright flash of pain was gone instantly, replaced by the exquisite sense of fullness, combined this time with a feeling of completion that he’d never felt before. “More,” he managed to gasp out while reaching for one of Jared’s hands.

Jared had loved before, but felt as if each caress; each kiss and now the tight, warmth that surrounded him as he continued to ease himself farther into the man under him, was his first. His boyfriend was just so sweet, so sexy and so, so completely sinful as he arched his back again looking for friction against his swollen, rigid and dripping cock that Jared felt as though he could easily look at him like this for the rest of his life and not tire of the sight. He was soon completely seated and before he began to move he lowered himself enough to kiss and tug at the swollen lips that had driven him crazy for the last few months. 

“Please, please….” Jensen begged his boyfriend to start moving while he slipped his free hand between them to stroke his cock and relieve at least a little of the pressure. He felt his hand pushed away and he moaned as Jared’s larger hand enveloped his cock and began to stroke it in time with the movements of the cock in his ass. “Not gonna last, Jay….”

“It’s okay babe, I want you to come for me, want to watch you come,” Jared changed his angle slightly and began to pound against the sensitive bundle of nerves that made up the prostate and was rewarded by a stream of curses, words of love and the filthiest moans he’d ever heard. The guy was definitely going to kill him before this was over. “Come on, Jen, come for me…”

Jensen could barely remember his name when he finally felt the pleasure that had been teasing him at the base of his spine spread out through his pelvis, concentrate in his balls and then finally burst from him in thick stripes of come that painted both men’s chests and stomachs.

“God, Jen. You are so beautiful,” Jared panted the words out as he worked his love through his orgasm, holding his own off as long as he could. The waves of pleasure that flowed to his extremities as he released his load into his boyfriend’s ass were so intense that they were almost painful. His breathing began to return to normal as he worked himself through the last couple of spurts from his exhausted cock. He lowered his forehead to rest on his boyfriend’s and pressed almost chaste kisses on his lips, cheeks and chin. “Love you so much.”

“I love you too, and…..wow,” Jensen smiled at the laugh his comment earned him.

“Yeah, wow, sums it up pretty well,” Jared eased himself carefully out of his boyfriend’s body and grabbed his briefs to clean them both up before moving Jensen enough to pull the comforter down and get him underneath it. Once he was settled back in bed, Jensen in his arms, his limbs felt like lead and his eyes were at half-mast. He kissed the blonde head tucked under his chin good night.

“Jay?”

“Babe?”

“I’m keeping the house. There’s a boyfriend discount, right?”

The End


End file.
